Unfamiliar Words

I am lying on my coffin bed, swallowed by the dark. As I look around my lying body I see nothing except my sad thoughts roaming around, with whispers shouting in this deadly silence.
Yet, my huge burden is not those roaming thoughts but something bigger, heavier stronger than me. It is killing the human inside this corpse; making me nothing but a mixture of fear and regret.
I did not know that I will regret anything in my life. I am the kind of person who likes to move on and look at her mistakes as lessons to learn from. But not this time, this feeling of regret is coming out of nowhere; I am regretting the life that people are wasting because of their selfishness and stupidity. Actually, the most important lesson I have learned from life is that people are stupid, and I can give as many reasons as you want to prove my theory, which makes me stupid as well. I cannot deny. I see myself as the perfect example of human's stupidity, with good intentions I suppose.
If I have only one thing I can admit; it is the fact that I am sad. Do not dare to ask me why. I cannot provide the answer to your question this time. But it might help you to look at the world with eyes wide open and notice the sadness, the grief, and the sorrow that haunts every avenue, and then come talk to me.
Talk to me about that feeling that became a source of despair; talk to me about happiness. Unfamiliar word, right? May be not for you, but for me it is just another meaningless dialect in my vocabulary list. I have the hope that we will meet each other again. That one day me and happiness will be like an inseparable couple, I wish that day comes soon.
As I press my shuddering thumbs across those flat letters, hesitating whether this would be of any value for any of you, or even for me. It could be that negative passage which has only created itself to haunt me until I give away all my words to writing. Or it could be something to laugh at "how pathetic!," yet talented I can admit. The remaining fear is the most fearful destiny for me and I will try to break it, even if it costs one of my ribs. I will break it.

Comments

  1. Anwar Al-Ballam24 April 2010 at 11:30

    this is life, nothing is fair in it
    god creates us, give us choices to live THEN judge us from the choices he already gave us !

    ReplyDelete

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