Paradise Lost

"There is nothing worse than the feeling you have when you are about to sleep, then, once you close your eyes you see a truck running you down. Or, you see yourself falling in a deep whole, or driving your car backwards with no control over the wheel, till you crash. These shots of dreams, I don’t really know what to call them; because I’m not sleeping when I see those visions, I am more tired, too tired to sleep and too tired to wake up. My brain is trying to work but instead of developing new thoughts, it transforms the thoughts that is trying to develop into some ugly form of my fears, a form that I did not know my imagination has. It is a swirl of nightmares. I go through the day with fear that a monster will attack me at any time; feeding on my tender body and enjoying the scene of my blood spilled on the floor. This is not all, there are also ghosts made of black smoke haunting me, following me everywhere, they are like my shadow but the weigh much more. Back problems that I

I decided to start a new form of writing, which is talking through another persona. I will be using a different character every time. I hope it will be useful and entertaining. Simply the character will talk about her/himself in a descreptive way to show us a glimpse of her life and her feelings. It is will be in a form of a solilquey, a short one but it will have a great depth. Hope you like it :)

There has been a long time since I actually wrote anything, except for some scribbles here and there which don't even worth to be looked at again. As I was thinking of the reason that stopped me from writing I realized that it is the lack of inspiration. I do not really know if this is my fault or not. May be it is, but I do want to blame life for this since it doesn't provide us with much inspiration. Accuse me of absurdity and silliness because I'm guilty, it would not make me feel any bad or sorry because I gave up all the distinguishing between good and bad long time ago. My new philosophy in life is that everything is relative. What is bad can get eventually good, it all depends on the way we are looking at it and the amount of information we are having. Since we can never have the full amount of information that we need, mostly because we are not superior or gods, therefore, who are we to decide what is good and what is not. I am not talking about religion here. Just

What a chaotic destiny! What was once a shelter Is now a sentence to the life after Becoming to Death, masters. ********** Dear mortals, If you hold your knife In the face of your partner World will only be A big selfish disaster *********** Break your ego Let life embraces you Death will be you Once you Leave To your life after *********** Your square shaped shelter Graving in your existence Holding your head under A pale drifting paper In that toxicated river ********* Push away your tomb cover Wash out the dirty color Show off your true color Color your life with its truthful color Share it with a lonely child Spread it earth wide Teach the world to build Glass walls and to end The gray stones And the black holes To be sent To the dark after

I really did not any of this coming. I mean this event was big and everyone was working really hard to make that day successful. Thank god it was mostly perfect and the day ended with great results. The puppeteering show is kind of new to me, and yesterday was the first time I do it in public. I tried not to imagine the whole thing so I would not get nervous, so I was like "la la la, we are going to do it and everything will be fine!" But I have to admit that my whole body was shaking. I do not know if that was just the coffee effect or the nervousness, it is kind of hard to tell if you are in this kind of situation. Anyways, thank to my bodies support; Mrs. Charlotte and Dina I managed to pull myself together and I did it! The only thing that I cannot explain is that I do not remember anything; from the moment we got on the stage until we finish, it was just like a bright light that ended with Charlotte telling me that I did a great job. But I do remember the people's fa

العقلاء و المجانين، كلاهما عكس الآخر. الأول يفكر بشكل منطقي و الآخر- حسبما يقولون- لا يفكر! لكن هل هذا صحيح؟ هل المجانين حقا لا يفكرون و لا يستخدمون عقولهم؟ أن هذا فقط محض إدعاء، كما يفعل كثير من الناس الأن، يضعون تلك العناوين السلبية على وجوه كل من لا ينتمي إليهم أو يشاركهم الرأي، مجانين! اذا كانت هذه النظرية بها أي شيء من الصحة، فإن حسب هذا المقياس، كل الناس مجانين. لا يوجد شخص يتفق بشكل كلي مع رأي الشخص الأخر، لأننا خلقنا ككائن مستقل! لقد سمعنا كثيرا ان هناك خيط رفيع بين الحقيقة و الكذب. و هناك أيضا خيط رفيع بين الجنون و العقل. فما يعتبر عقلانيا الان سوف يصبح جنونيا لاحقا، و ماهو جنوني سوف يصبح عقلانيا. أن أقرب مثال من الممكن أن يضرب هو من كتب التاريخ التي تشهد بالكثير، ففي السابق كانوا يؤمنون بالشعوذة كنوع من أنواع العلاج الطبي و كان أمرا عاديا أن يذهب شخص مريض إلى المشعوذ كي يحضر منه "بلسم الشفاء" الذي سوف يقيه من شر المرض. كل هذا لاعتقادهم أن الأمراض هي أرواح تسكن بالجسم و و تؤدي إلى تعطل ماهم الجسم الرئيسية. لو تحدث شخص الآن عن سبب ارتفاع درجة حرارة جسده بأنها نوع من ا