Paradise Lost

I am lying on my coffin bed, swallowed by the dark. As I look around my lying body I see nothing except my sad thoughts roaming around, with whispers shouting in this deadly silence. Yet, my huge burden is not those roaming thoughts but something bigger, heavier stronger than me. It is killing the human inside this corpse; making me nothing but a mixture of fear and regret. I did not know that I will regret anything in my life. I am the kind of person who likes to move on and look at her mistakes as lessons to learn from. But not this time, this feeling of regret is coming out of nowhere; I am regretting the life that people are wasting because of their selfishness and stupidity. Actually, the most important lesson I have learned from life is that people are stupid, and I can give as many reasons as you want to prove my theory, which makes me stupid as well. I cannot deny. I see myself as the perfect example of human's stupidity, with good intentions I suppose. If I have only one t...

Here I am stepping into a world of shadows. Here goes my pace, trembling yet calm. I am afraid of going into that shade, you know how much I miss the beams, but your mysterious power is getting over me. I am forced to get inside. With you, into that terrifying darkness. No. I am not enforced. I am aware Of my desire to see That side, since it belongs to you. Can you listen to my heart beats? I doubt. They are echoing inside my lonesome chest. Sighs after Sighs, Until I turn around And see you not here Not beside me. You left my spirit in this ominous hole I have nothing at this moment. Except my lonesome tears To be shed over that engraved name over my body, Your name that cannot be erased To be rinsed, rinsed with tears of plain saline, Till I dry out of living. With nothing left of me, But a soulless corpse And eyes remaining to sob, sobbing upon that destiny; A dark tunnel with no light. Not even yours.

I am surrounded here by an army. An army that uses its most powerful weapons to put me down. Yet, I am very happy with this loss. I do not want to win this battle exclusively, being the loser here is actually winning. Those soldiers are very white, they are armored with the most thick covers. Yet, my hands can easily reach them, feel their energy, their light, all this without an effort. I am doing this not because I like to, but because I have to. But once I put my hands on those covers, they begin to attack me. Those black little weapons get into my throat, to my mind, and concur them. My brain does no longer belongs to me, my thoughts are stolen, and replaced, with other thoughts which are not familiar to me. I can hardly adjust with this new situation. As I struggle to protect my lands from being invaded, I am starting to think of the possibility that this war, where I am being defeated, is actually my way to success. I have never felt this strange feeling before. Can this be my lo...